Special Lessons

We just finished another amazing General Conference Weekend! Unfortunately I've been feeling pretty terrible the past few days with a nasty cold so I was sleepy for both the morning sessions, but that just means I'll get to watch them in the next couple days :) But there were still so many wonderful messages that I caught. This conference was also pretty special because 3 new apostles were called; Elders Ronald A. Rasband, Gary E. Stevenson, and Dale G. Renlund. I am pretty familiar with Elder Rasband as he has spoken at BYU before, but it's been fun to get to know a little bit more about them. It's really incredible to see how there is a perfect order to everything in God's Church, and He knows exactly who we need at specific times to lead and guide us through these difficult days.

It is currently almost 2 am. Why am I up? A couple reasons haha First, Mr. T woke up around 12:30. So I had to feed him- but keep in mind this is only the 3rd time in his whole 6-mo-old life that's he's woken us up! What a champ. While I was feeding him I scrolled through FB and saw a friend had shared a talk of Elder Rasband's from the Spring 2012 General Conference Session; it's called Special Lessons. This friend has 2 girls with Down Syndrome, so I knew this talk must be good haha :) Trevor had fallen back asleep before I even finished watching the talk, but I just couldn't get it off my mind! So here I am :) You can watch the 9 minute talk or read it, too, here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/special-lessons?lang=eng

This talk is honestly AMAZING and it got me wondering what I though about it when I saw it. Then I realized that this was the last Conference session I watched before I went home from the mission, which would mean I should have notes on it! Score. I went and found my mission study journal and sure enough there it was. After writing down a line from Elder Rasband's talk that said, "Trusting in God's plan is central to our mortality," I had written underneath it, "Oh man, again, thank goodness I have learned how to do this so much better on my mission! I am so much more prepared for the rest of my life, whatever may come."

Ooook. Little did I know what really would come in just a few years! I had no idea that I'd be living life happy as can be, married to one of my Zone Leaders from the mission (yeah... hahaha!) and about to finish my bachelor's degree when all of the sudden I would find out that my unborn baby would have Down Syndrome. If I would have read those notes back in December last year when we got the news, would I really have believed myself? That I was prepared for 'whatever may come?' One thing is for sure- my mission truly did strengthen my testimony of trusting in God's plan (but I also know that I've forgotten the little experiences that taught me that. So, GOAL: go back and read my mission journals so I can remember and learn all over again!).  One of my favorite parts of this talk is a quote from Elder James E. Faust. It says,

"I have a great appreciation for those loving parents who stoically bear and overcome their anguish and heartbreak for a child who was born with or who has developed a serious mental or physical infirmity. This anguish often continues every day, without relief, during the lifetime of the parent or the child. Not infrequently, parents are required to give superhuman nurturing care that never ceases, day or night. Many a mother’s arms and heart have ached years on end, giving comfort and relieving the suffering of her special child.”

I surely felt anguish and heartbreak that night in December after finding out. I felt it several more times thinking about the kind of life my baby would have- would he be able to make friends? Would he be happy? I wondered why God thought I could handle this and what I would do to overcome all the hurdles that lay ahead. Worry set in about what it would mean for our family and his future siblings. But I read this quote now and realize for the rest of my life that, yes, I will most likely grieve over and the trials he'll go through, whether they be physical, mental, or emotional. I will definitely have to stretch myself to accomplish things that seem impossible (like potty training a 6 yr old hahaha! But seriously...). Honestly tho, this is just parenting! All parents worry about their children and grieve over challenges they face and I'll go through that with ALL of my kids; but I'll experience it a little differently with Trevor. 

But I think of how much help and support I'll have and it makes it  seem a little less daunting :) I have Braxton, who will be right there with me as we solve these problems together. I have my amazingly supportive mom, bother, sister and her family, all my in-laws that do so much for us, and wonderful friends who are always there with hugs and smiles! And I have a cheering section on the other side :) I have my dad! Who I'm sure is with his dad, my Grandpa Mark. Elder Faust and my Grandpa Mark were actually good friends, and it's kind of neat to think that maybe he's rooting for me too. There's Trevor Strong and Derek Walker, plus Mr. T's future siblings! But most importantly, I've got Heavenly Father and my Savior. With them, we'll not only get through just fine, but come out a little  stronger in the end. 

I've already learned so much these past 6 months since becoming a mom, and even more so being Trevor's mom. His extra chromosome honestly has brought so much extra happiness into our lives! He may have some physical and mental delays, but to me he is perfect. I can't imagine him being any other way! 

Near the end of his talk, Elder Rasband mentioned how the scripture that states "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God," took on a new meaning with the birth of his grandson. I know that Heavenly Father loves all of his children unconditionally, but I secretly think he hold a special place in his heart for those like Trevor, who He sends to earth under special circumstances ;) 

Gosh I am beyond grateful for the leadership that Christ set up for His church! We are so blessed to have His servants here to guide us, and remind us, as Elder Rasband has reminded me, of all we are capable of with the Lord's help.